An insecurity called love

I am but a broken record,
The same tune I forever play,
Uniformly random are my thoughts,
I can find no difference from yesterday

You came into this joke I call my life,
You tried to make the darkness go away,
Your eyes tried to hold my attention,
Your hands forever tried to still my sway

You gave me peace of mind,
And now I made you take it away,
You gave me so much of you that,
now I am forever afraid you'll leave me behind

I know there is no reason to fear,
I know that you are my fate,
But every moment apart from you,
Insecurity compels and I am hate

I am but a man on a raft,
Sailing through the endless blue,
Haggard and parched and a worried face,
I know not what to do...

Alone I float lost in my own smoke,
Not a soul to whom I can relate,
All I hear is the damned ocean,
And the emptiness of my soul,

Years go by in a haze,
And one bright sunny morning,
I see a bird in the sky,
Her wings are bathed in golden light,
She is the kind of beauty which evokes a sigh

She lands on my raft and looks me in the eye,
She coo'es in my ear and gives me a peck,
The lines on my face part into a smile,
I have finally found my bearing in life.

My little miracle stays with me till dusk,
She then decides she must leave,
She promises that come dawn,
She will fly straight back to me

The thought of her flying away makes me sad,
But I trust her more than myself,
And I kiss her goodbye,
All the time wiping the tears in my eye

This chain of events repeats everyday,
From morn to night she makes me feel young again,
But every time she leaves,
I watch helplessly and grieve

Then one day the germ of doubt,
Starts slowly growing in my mind,
She may not come back in the morrow,
She may find someone more interesting than me

I start to suspect when she is away,
I start to quarrel every day,
I protest and I rebel,
In the hope that she might choose to stay

I love her enough to become as bad as hate,
Holding her tight may bruise my love,
I now see a choice between her hurt and my fear,
I know I must choose to remain afraid,
And now life goes on as before,
She breathes into me fresh life everyday,
We smile, we dance, we leap, we soar,
We lay on our backs close beside,
And as the sun goes down she readies to leave,
I smile and I wave as I die inside...