The devil in paradise

Eyes close as my body goes limp,
My lungs take in their last gulp of air,
The dark tunnel appears around me,
I shrug my shoulders and walk into the light...

I know where I am headed,
Flashes of fire and screams of pain,
The agony of torture, retribution for my sins,
The crushing of bones, the boiling rain...

But t'was not to be my place,
Instead I was taken to the pearly gates,
Angels and harps and golden strands of sun,
I could not believe that I was forgiven...

Walked in with a sly smile on my face,
I hoodwinked Him, Him who knows all,
From the jaws of hell, I had turned my fate,
A sinner like me, from heaven a call...

I looked at Him, my lips a sneer,
Fooled you old man, my conscience a'int clear,
He looked at me with a knowing smile,
Uncertain for the first time, I averted my gaze...

Heaven was as heaven should,
The land of dreams, the land of good,
The garden green, the sturdy house,
The sober sailor, the faithful spouse

The honest man, the loyal friend,
Flowers in eternal bloom, everlasting rainbows,
The day without night, The high without a low,
The soul without envy, patience which has no end...

I wandered among the sacrificing and the great,
The virtuous politician, the pious priest,
Love without afflictions, one without hate,
I felt so out of place...

Soon I start to jump the lines,
With the angel I start to flirt,
She slaps me not, she flings no dirt,
Always patient,Always perfect,
Miserable in this place so divine...

At last I know, at last I see,
Heaven is no place for a mortal like me,
Set in my habits, I err in my ways,
I see the path, but the human in me strays...

Retribution is not always what you assume,
Penance for your sins may be life with the good,
Not the screams of the insane, not the blood and fumes,
But in virtue which all else consumes,
Man will suffer, no matter how strong,
In a place where, try as he might,
He can do no wrong...

Silent waters...

A glimpse and she is gone,
Shadows of light in a toss of her head,
At once I am reborn,
For the first time, my soul t'is stirred,
Symphony, ecstasy, a storm is ahead.

A storm of passion, of exquisite pain,
Violent gales, I fall to my knees,
Her hands so delicate, fingers like gentle rain,
Pleasure wracks my being as I burn in her embrace.

An animal, I roar, down at her I stare,
Lightning strikes and her eyes are aflame,
A soft smile, a whisper to tame,
An infant, I howl begging for care.

I work up the nerve, ask her to dance,
I dread acceptance, I dread being turned down,
Her and a mortal like me, the Gods will frown,
On high cliffs, against angry waves,
We sway to the sound.

And now ye are warned, my friend,
Angels can sin and pigs can fly,
A circle can transform into a line,
Words can cease to rhyme,
But this dance is forever mine ...

I watch you try, I see you flirt,
I hear you sing and admire the skirt,
She loves me she loves me not,
A boy, a million miles away,
You think you have a shot.

She seems to talk, with you she likes to walk,
She laughs at your grin, wipes crumbs of your chin,
Sad when you leave, she almost cries,
You think you have something I have not,
And you think you have a shot.

My dear friend, I read your brave story,
Believe me I admire your attempt at glory,
But understand this boy,
Not every will has a way,
Not every black cloud has a silver line,
For you and the million others who try every day,
Remember, this dance is mine...this dance is mine.

Conjoined Twins

This man I know, this man I see,
He stands upright, his stride is sure,
He does no wrong, lives life honestly,
With eyes so clear and a heart so pure,
This man I know, this man I see...

I watch him smile, I see him cry,
I see him working hard to shape,
These lumps of clay, fragments of his heart,
For these are more than mere friends,
They are his kin for life...

Close to his body, them he holds,
He thinks they hold him as tight,
Warmth he wants and warmth he gives,
Till day emerges from night...

This man I know, This man I see,
Casual he leans against the gates of hell,
Sparks shoot from the embers he holds,
With bloodshot eyes and a soul to sell,
He watches as his dark night unfolds...

I watch him slide as silent as sin,
Sly his back as it moves across the wall,
Cautious he approaches the battle to begin,
Wary is he of the back stabbing dolls....

Close to all but near to none,
A radiant smile across his face,
He holds hands, but trusts no one,
All the time, the cold emanating in his gaze...

They turn around and look me in the eye,
They want to know where my loyalties lie,
They wink at me, both satan and the seer,
And as the sky meets the sea,
The image merges with the mirror,
The men I see become........me.

Reflections of my mind...

I look in the mirror,
I know not what I see,
No matter how hard I try,
I cannot see inside of me...

Everywhere there is darkness,
At last I see a glint of light,
The shine I saw were shards of glass,
Shards of glass that were a mirror...

Now there is nothing left to see,
There are doors, but I have no key...

I try and try to come to the surface,
But the current keeps pulling me down,
I find that no matter what I do,
I have sentenced my soul to drown...

Flashes erupt as life passes me by,
Filled with highs and never ending lows,
This is one applause filled drama,
For which I dont want to bow....

I am running now,
faster and faster,
The earth slipping under me,
No matter how hard I run,
I cant find what is inside of me...

What happened to me I know not,
Who has this storm brought,
I look around and I see,
it is you standing near me...

Together we run,
faster and faster,
Trying to beat the pace,
Together we try, so hard we try,
To win this never ending race...

I want to find myself and so do you,
Alas we didn't know,
we find ourselves in each other...

So there is no need to run,
No need to hide,
No need to swim,
Or pierce the tide,
All we need is each other,
Cause I tell you there is one other
Reflection to my soul,
And that my love is you,
You are my ultimate goal...

What goes around must come around,
So I seem to be your goal too,
Let me see your heart baby,
Mine belongs to you...

Hallucination

Have you felt with your mind ,
Have you thought with your skin ,
Does her cruelty seem kind ,
Is there ecstasy in sin.

Why is everything upside down,
Why is my world turned around,
Why am I happy when I am sad,
Am I crazy or just a little mad.

It suddenly hits me, I know what has happened ,
I can’t believe it baby, but I know its true,
I’m overdosed darling, I had an overdose of you.

Love can make darkness glitter,
It can make the dull to shine,
Even make a saint a sinner
Love can make the devil divine.
It can make fools into poets,
And poets into fools,
I cant figure out which of the above I am,
Well I’m in love…… so I don’t give a damn.

Would you believe me if I say I can hear you smile,
That I can see your voice, I can feel your glance,
I can breath your love, I can taste your skin
Eyes closed, I can see you dance.
Miles away , but I feel you within.

You are silent ,but I hear you speak
There are people all around, but we are alone
We stand apart ,locked in an embrace,
My thoughts are lucid, my mind is in a daze.

My eyes seek you, my hand reaches for you
I think I am suddenly drowning
That I’m lost and don’t have a clue
And all my heart is yearning,
For just a feel of you.

You reach out and hold my hand,
Your eyes seem to fully understand,
Your touch is to assure me and to swear,
Tis to say that I will always be there
I hold you and I’m at peace,
I forget all my doubts and my fear.

Cause in my arms, I now have
All that I want, all that I need,
And all that I hold dear.
You my love are my highest high ,
You are my only real addiction,
You are the oasis in my desert so dry,
Girl you are my eternal hallucination.

A little love can change it all..

I catch the same bus , travel in the same train,
See the same streets, pass the same lanes,
Walk the same route, at the same pace
I finish at the same position, in the same race
But today is different……
But today is different……

I greet the same people, meet the same friends,
My life seemed to be going,
From one to another dead end
I think the same thought,
Even write the same lines,
In my mind there was an unending draught,
But today is different……
But today is different……

I stop to wonder why,
Today there seems to be a bluer sky,
A greener earth, a bluer bay,
All gently bathed with golden rays,
Tis' not the earth that has changed,
Tis' the way I look at things,
Tis' not a change of seasons,
Tis' change in the heart that love brings.

How can she exist, it cannot be true,
Maybe she was never meant to be for you,
An angel who used to walk the clouds,
Her voice is gentle rain,
Her touch is like that of a flower’s,
It takes away all your pain.

She walks on air, she does my love,
She floats right over us mortal beings,
Her hands are so soft, so delicate,
You feel like holding them forever,
No wonder today is different……
No wonder today is different……

There seems to be no language, no words,
That I can use to describe you,
No matter how hard I try,
I still can’t epitomize you,
How can it be so hard,
To put my feelings on paper
I feel like a bard without rhythm,
Maybe I'll try again later…….

The Nomad

A house I build, A house of stone,
I sew bricks together with concrete threads,
I paint the walls with a garish red,
A house with a thick set base and triangular head.

I sit facing my house on the old cracked bench,
With my face in my hands and dreams in my head,
And as a soldier faces the enemy with teeth that are clenched,
I declare it to be my home, this house in red.

She will be my first and last I say,
She will weather the storm of life,
She will be mine till my dying day,
She will graciously welcome my wife.

And I will never leave I swear,
Not for the world will I part with her,
Here is where I unfurl my flag,
To hell with the world for all I care.

A letter before the paint was dry,
A letter to leave for another place,
A letter forcing me to say goodbye,
A letter forcing this rat to join the race.

A house I build, A house of wood,
I nail down boards to make the walls,
A beauty she was, how elegant she stood,
I painted her brown, with a pretty white hood.

Atlast I have my home in this new land,
Atlast I have something that is mine,
Atlast a house shaped by my hand,
Atlast a feeling of possession so divine.

I stand across her with my hands on my waist,
The smile still glued across my face,
Arrives another letter, to go another place,
I turn around and walk back into the haze.

My girl reaches for my hand and holds it tight,
Her soft smile makes my melancholy melt away,
My love sings to me as she leads me into the night,
Her voice gives me hope of the dawn of a new day.

At last I know, At last I see,
She is the only one who truly belongs to me,
Not houses of bricks nor of wood,
Not paper money and bags of gold,
None of this can you forever hold,
Your future with them cannot be foretold.

When life is for rent, why yearn for wealth,
Only love is forever true,
Like the fall of thunder belongs to the strike of lightning,
My darling, I belong to you....

Numb

A haggard couch, an empty glass,
A broken lamp, a weary house,
A boy inside, with a vacant stare,
On him a face which just does not care.

I look about trying to see,
To fumble through the emptiness inside of me,
It isnt dark, yet there is no light,
It isnt wrong, but is it right?

I watch as smoke drifts through the air,
I can see it spiral around,
I see my soul trying to bear,
This fatal plummet to the ground.

I hear the noise, but there is no sound,
I feel the blow, but there is no pain,
I see her though she is not around,
A hand on me leaving a bloody stain.

I get up and walk away,
I dont know where I go,
To follow not a shining ray,
But a darker thought, a lower low.

I have forgotten misery,
I can no longer relate with bliss,
There is no more any ecstasy,
As I go deeper into this abyss.

Life isnt always full of things to feel,
It need not have sorrow or joy,
For emotions are just the outer peel,
Of the soul of this boy.......

Whiplash

Souls together, hearts apart,
trying to finish but yet to start,
No water but trying to drown,
faking a smile when you want to frown.

Eyes see and ears hear,
the brain tells you the course to take,
but it is the heart that houses your deepest fear,
and wants to influence the decisions you make.

And then begins the great war,
between the logic, the reason,
And the emotional scars,
The night is still, the air so thin,
As the battle rages on within.

You dont choose black,
You dont choose white,
Cause between them you see a tinge of grey,
And this is where you choose to stay

Now you think that you are safe,
Truce between the heart and mind,
And on this tightrope you will forever stand,
And leave your troubles behind.

But this silence is a storm,
This whisper is a shout,
This right is a wrong,
your conviction is in doubt.

You see my dear friend,
No matter what you intend,
This war will never end,
If life was fair,And love was forever true,
If he was perfect and so were you,
It will be a life without pain,
One without chance,
A life of everlasting joy,
To the same tune, you would forever dance.

Why is melancholy so beautiful,
But she is not embraced as joy is,
Why do you never want her to stay,
Why in life you seek only bliss,
Why over the cloud you choose a ray.

Sadness helps you experience joy,
It helps you feel the spark in the eyes of a boy,
If you were forever in bliss,
A spark in that everlasting fire you will miss.

So welcome your emotions when they come,
Dont be partial toward only some,
Cause the happiest person on earth,
Deserves the most pity,
For his life will never be whole,
A life in complete control.